The shock of such a horrific loss, catapulted me into the hidden catacombs of my heart. The endless darkness left unexplored for the fear of pain and suffering.
My life has been a tapestry of hardship and renewal. Facing loss and pain with a bulldog mentality. It was effective for the most part, until the implosion of my reality. This single experience connected me with every other minimized and disregarded loss in my life. It was time for a light to shine throughout the dark corners and caverns of my heart.
There was a valuable center piece missing in my tapestry of healing. I had consistently overlooked the insight of mercy. In the words of Stephen Levine, "Healing then, becomes not the absence of pain but the increased ability to meet it with mercy instead of loathing."
The days to follow this symbolic act of ending the heartfelt sorrows of life, which my beloved Sister so graphically called for, are the most enlightening, courageous moments I have known.
As it is written in A Course in Miracles, "Kneel not before the altars to sacrifice and seek not what you will surely lose. Content yourself with what you will surely keep."
With this knowledge of dreaming our realities I find peace in ACIM's words, "No perception however Holy, will last forever." I have recently attained a scholarship to this lesson.