As I approached, what will forever be etched in my mind as the Crime Scene, I saw my Brother standing alone outside the yellow Police tape, placed around the perimeter. I hadn't seen my Brother in two years. We live 30 minutes apart.
Still in a state of shock, when we saw each other. I felt an island form beneath us. There is something about kin, that feels familiar. Whether or not time or troubles come between us. Somehow family, that blood relation is an everlasting bond. This combined with the shared tragedy brought us both home again.
The moments, one after another were surreal. It felt as if I was in a terrible nightmare. One minute I am at home in a blissful state of mind, The next thrown into the most unbelievable event of my life. I was sure I would wake and find my peaceful reality once more.
The innocence I had experienced in my constant state of bliss had ended. A truth and faith larger than anything I had known was in its infancy.
This is where I began to see the characters playing out their roles. The Medical Examiner hurrying by, looking a bit weary after examining a 5 week old corpse with a knife in her chest. As he passed I locked my eyes to his. He held the answers to a death I could not conceive of. The Chaplin for the fire station, standing with us, said "Give him time, he will come to you when he is done."
The hours of waiting were like days. I used the time to call family members and deliver the tragic news. One by one the shock and disbelief filled the air. "No" was the consistent answer. Just simply.... NO! this can not be.
Finely they all came out, the detectives, uniformed police and yes... this over worked Saint of a Man, the Medical Examiner. Somehow he was filled with light, compassion and beauty. I felt it instantly. He looked me square in the eye, with a loving kindness I will never forget and said "I have determined it to be self inflicted." He then said, "How can I help? What questions can I answer for you?" I was surprised at how the intellect took over. The only question I had was "How? How can someone possibly do this to themselves?" He very simply said, "There is only one spot, and she was perfectly accurate." The next words I am eternally grateful for. He said "She stopped the heart and died instantly. There were no signs of trauma or struggle in any way." This was a contrasting concept? I just filed the thought and thanked him.
This began my journey into Kathie's life before this tragic ending. What were her last thoughts, actions, and wishes? I became an investigator into my Sisters hidden past.